you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
