That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
