pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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