Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How external is "for external use only"?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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