Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
