Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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