batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
