You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she looked like the before picture.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
