Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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