Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
