i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
