Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
