Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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