I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
