a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so let's talk penis.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
