Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
