I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
