I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
