is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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