that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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