pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He? As in you personified your dick?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The power of my boobs compel you
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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