Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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