Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
