Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
