so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
