in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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