i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize