"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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