You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
