The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize