he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
