Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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