I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
