so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
