THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
