STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
