oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize