Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
