dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
