i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
