What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
