OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize