I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you traded sex for a burrito?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
