Did you just see the Batmobile???
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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