Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
