I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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