Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
