is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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