Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
