Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
