This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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