the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
