It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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