Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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