My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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