Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
