I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
