Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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