i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
