worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
