My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
