Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
