I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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