Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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