is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
