My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
