it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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